I don’t think 2020 will be forgotten for a very long time by anyone who’s old enough to remember the global COVID-19 pandemic.
It’s the first truly global event in our lifetime that is impacting the entire planet. (For the record, I wouldn’t call global warming “an event” - yes, it has global affects, but it’s also not as immediately impactful as COVID-19). For the most part, it has made us feel a little closer as global citizens and as close we’re ever going to be (hopefully) in defending the planet from a alien invasion.
But it does affect people in different ways. I consider myself very lucky: I have a job that I can continue to do effectively while working from my home office; I’m happily married to my best friend and enjoy our home life; we have a nice home that has a deck, a porch, and a backyard with a cabana so we can get out of the house. I’m also free to walk my dog around our beautiful urban neighbourhood which also gives me a chance for frequent front yard visits with my oldest university friends. My parents are well and I’m in touch with them on a regular basis and my children are healthy and managing to work and study and enrich their lives. I feel connected to my entire family and friends via the myriad of electronic channels and we have the convenience of grocery pickups, well organized restaurant takeout and delivery options for almost everything we need. I’m healthy and not overly stressed out and I have a lot of hobbies to keep me engaged when I’m not working. I’m a lucky man.
But there are many people truly suffering in these pandemic times, those that have lost their jobs, or are being financially impacted by lost business, those feeling very alone from not being in psychical contact with their friends and of course, those that have have fallen ill or lost loved ones to COVID-19. I also feel it’s very important to keep thinking of the front line workers and anyone that is helping us get through these hard times. As I said in a personal video thank you I put together early on in the pandemic, thank you to so many that are going beyond the call of duty and in many cases, putting their own health in danger to keep the rest of use healthy.
What I’ve been struggling with is understanding the psychological impact of these massive global, as well as local, changes - how the isolation, travel and visiting restrictions and health concerns are affecting me.
Like many people, I miss going to a restaurant or having a pint at the pub, I’m missing having friends over for dinner parties or planning a weekend getaway or the next vacation with my wife. I miss playing ultimate frisbee - for the exercise as well as for its social aspects. I miss visiting my mom and dad and even miss my business trips south of the border.
And some of these things intersect with my hobbies and in some degree reduces the material for my hobbies and creates more introspection rather than relying on external factors. Let me explain - If I’m not traveling, then I’m not seeing so many new places and therefore the amount of travel photography and videos I'm making is cut down. This also makes it hard to justify that next camera upgrade :). Likewise, if I’m not going to any live sporting events, concerts or documenting family visits, I’m experiencing far less moments that need remembering. If I’m not traveling for business, I’m far less concerned about my wardrobe and hardly have any reason to shop for clothes. While at my desk the other day I absentmindedly kicked my suitcase (tucked away under the desk) - I actually contemplated buying new luggage just 6 months ago - ha. This week on a group work call, I was informed about the stringent approval requirements for business travel. Does anyone at my company actually believe business travel is going to happen any time soon? My colleagues on the call felt similarly and the consensus appears to be that no one will be visiting customers until at the earliest 2021.
When every week day and weekend is the same, I find I’m struggling for inspiration for my photography, filmmaking and writing. I’m having to think more carefully about my choices and a different way to value my time. Pre-pandemic times, so much of my life was driven by external factors and by other people and daily activities were much more reactive and unpredictable. For saying there are so many restrictions of what I can do when I step on the sidewalk, my agenda is more in my control at the moment. As restrictions ease a little and we get more comfortable wearing a mask and getting closer to other people, opportunities are starting to open up for little gems of adventure. This past week we sent to see the Van Gogh Immersive Exhibition. It was wonderful creative art and I welcomed the old feeling of awe and inspiration.
At many times over these last 6 months, I’ve recognized that I’ve enjoyed this change forced upon me. It’s given me the time to enjoy more moments, pay closer attention to my art, more carefully choose what TV and films to watch. I’ve had time to read more (although I still find it tiring and I have little patience for a slow plot). My house is a little cleaner, some (small) home projects are getting done a little quicker. And luckily I’m not completely bored of our home meal menus.
Enjoying this? Really? Do I prefer this than life before the pandemic - no, I definitely cannot say that. But I’ve tried to make the most of a bad situation and I think I’m learning something about myself and about what’s makes me happy. It’s given me a little breathing space and much needed time for contemplation and study.
But maybe it’s taken this long for the new reality to settle in - I do miss being in a space with other humans - whether it’s a simple pub lunch with my wife or an excuse for an after-party with a old friends at a new found hot spot. Or a stroll around the Art Gallery of Ontario (without a mask and seeing the deep thought on people’s faces), rubbing shoulders with food shoppers at the St. Lawrence Market, or soaking up nouveau European trends at Eataly. What about sharing a groove with an intimate concert crowd or singing out loud your favourite rock anthems with thousands of fans. I’m beginning to miss that more often now.
So I balance a little sadness of missing old times with new-found introspection and a more gentle pace of life. Or maybe I’m just showing my age.
The younger man in me just found this track that collects a lot of what many people are perhaps thinking about these days. For the record, “new-found introspection and a more gentle pace of life” sounds pretty Zen to me. Apologies and warning about the expletive in the chorus.
