Based on purely the hypothetical, I realized today the importance of asking the very common question "how are you", especially when talking with a loved one on the phone.
The (hypothetical) situation: you call your wife as you're about to head home from the office and instead of kicking off the conversation with a pleasant how are you, you're into heavy stuff, scheduling, cooking etc. At the tail end of the unhealthy exchange, she says she's not feeling very well. Well don't you feel like a git. You could say "why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling very well" - but of course the volleys of blame could have been nicely avoided if you'd opened the conversation with a "how are you". Of course, both the question and the response need to be genuine and true.
Another (hypothetical) situation: your wife calls you as you're about to head home from the office and instead of her kicking off the conversation with a pleasant how are you, you're into heavy stuff, scheduling, cooking etc. At the tail end of the unhealthy exchange, you say you've had a crappy day and really tired. Well doesn't she feel like a female version of a git. Once again, the volleys of blame could have been nicely avoided if she'd opened the conversation with a "how are you". Of course, both the question and the response need to be genuine and true.
Please let me know if this rings true with you and more importantly if how are you is making a difference in your wife (sorry life).
1 comment:
We are great about "how are yous" in the family, but what really upsets me is that people will ask "How are you" when passing you by, but they will keep going and not wait for a response.....why ask?
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